Dear You,
It’s ridiculous how much one person can hurt another. Time and again I am shocked at the kind of power love creates. The power to make a person happy beyond all reason, the power to push them over the edge.
There is a dull ache in my chest. It has been there for days, secondary to a sharper, biting pain. I wonder if this duller, more permanent pain will ever fade...will the scars? I can feel the wounds, invisible to the naked eye. But maybe if you looked hard enough into my eyes, the ones you always said were like a storm, you could see them. Jagged, open wounds across my heart.
I remember the day I chained myself to that tree. It was so big, so old. I wondered what stories it could tell me. I wondered how they could just cut it down. You just laughed and stood beside me, even when the men came with the chainsaws, you remained. Calm, like always, you just leaned beside me, smoking.
I remember that smell. Mix it with the scent of pine trees and it was your smell. One hundred percent you. I miss that scent. If I close my eyes right now, I can almost smell it. It’s right there, teasing me, faintly tingling at my nostrils...but it never makes it to my brain. It’s never more than a memory.
I also remember a sweet smell. It clung to the walls of your basement and when we would mess around on the couch, it would fill my brain and send me flying high. And with that memory comes the memory of your fingers. Skimming lightly over bare skin, nails scratching at my stomach...They were wholly yours. Long and slim, with rough calluses that sent a thrilling shock through me.
It feels like ages since I’ve felt those fingers. Caressing my cheek, pressing into my hips, running sketchy lines over my lips...Could it really have been only last week that you promised me forever?
I guess we can never really know what secrets people are hiding away. What forbidden things that hide in our hearts and refuse to come out, no matter what picking and prodding society does. Secrets that rest with us until our dying day, whether it is by our own hands or someone else’s.
I’ll never forget the look in your eyes when you asked me if God was real. It was a flat look but I thought that behind those empty blue orbs, I saw sparks of anger welling up. But maybe those were just tears.
I hope that where ever you are that you found the answer to your question. Who knows? Maybe it was hiding in that bottle, among those pills, or maybe it was just behind your eyelids when they closed for the last time. Perhaps you found Him before the act, in the smeared ink of your last and final words, not even good enough to be spoken out loud...
It’s a little sick, but I wonder what you thought of as you faded away...and maybe it’s a little selfish, but I hope you saw my face. And I hope that when you took your last breath and the life that held me so captivated slipped away slowly into nothingness, that an angel came and held your hand as you cried.
It’s raining outside, big fat drops that roll off my windows and splash to the ground. Hopeful little beads that cling until that hope is lost and they have to let go. I’m imagining it was you who sent these raindrops. One of your subtle reminders that there is a time for grieving and a time for happiness, a time for tears and a time for smiles. So I do smile because there aren’t any more tears, and because you’re the sky and these raindrops are the tears you’ve taken from me.
The ones you’ll cry in my stead.
Love always,
Me
On this page, you can:
Start your own free art collection. Sign up here!DownloadSee more of this artist:mooney-bo-booney's profilemooney-bo-booney's gallery
©2008-2009 ~mooney-bo-booney
Author's Comments
Pft. Heck if I know.
|
|
Report a Policy Violation
Site Map
Community News1524 Ninja Assassin Brings You ALL Journal Skins!$Heidi
 reports, 23h 5m agoDeviantART and the martial arts action film, Ninja Assassin, have teamed up to allow ALL deviants the ability to install Journal Skins! Select an awesome Ninja Assassin skin or choose the skin of your choice. 136 The LOL Corner [#76]@martypunker
 reports, 15h 35m ago94 Mejora tu dA! (para no-suscritos)=noticias
 reports, 19h 27m ago=Allyntu nos ofrece un compilado de opciones para mejorar la apariencia de tu cuenta en deviantART sin estar suscritos. 75 Daily Literature Deviations for November 9, 2009=DailyLitDeviations
 reports, 1d 6h agoDaily Literature Deviations is a group that is dedicated to bringing literature to the forefront of the deviantArt community. We attempt to accomplish this by daily featuring Literature artists from around the community that deserve the recognition, but are not getting it. Each day we will feature 5 deviations from the Literature categories in a News Article. In order to support the artists that we feature, we ask that you  the news article as well as check out the individual pieces. We understand that each day you may not be able to check out each and every one of the pieces, everyone has their own things going on. We just ask that you make an attempt to help support the growing Literature community. |
PollHaters... |
deviantART Loves You
Deviously serving the art and skin community for 3,382 days.
Only 270 days until our tenth birthday!
|
Deviousness
The Deviousness Award is an accolade which is traditionally handed out on the 1st of every month to one trully outstanding deviant. `Cyantre is one of the most helpful deviants within our community. With a positive attitude and a resourceful mind, you can always find him providing support and encouragement to those in need. Always looking for ways in which he can get more involved in our community, John's positive presence is to be aspired to. A well respected poet, John is a must-have on your deviantWATCH to make sure that you don't miss out on your dose of community inspiration. It's with great pleasure that the Deviousness Award for November 2009 goes to... Read More
|
Follow us on Twitter
Become a fan on Facebook
©2009 deviantART. All rights reserved
Comments
It made me want to cry though. D=
--
I swear by my life, and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.
--
Oodles of woozy tofu muffins! <3
--
An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.
Procrastinators unite... Tomorrow.
In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry, and has been widely regarded as a bad idea.
-Douglas Adams
--
Oodles of woozy tofu muffins! <3
--
An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.
Procrastinators unite... Tomorrow.
In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry, and has been widely regarded as a bad idea.
-Douglas Adams
--
Oodles of woozy tofu muffins! <3
--
I swear by my life, and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.
Previous PageNext Page